Bruno Mars: "I'll catch a grenade for yaa!"
Girl: "Really? Today?"
Bruno Mars: "Wait, no. Today I don't feel like doing anything.
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Person dies in movie; "Eh. They probably desevered it."
Puppy dies in movie: "WHAT THE F^CK! WHAT DID THE PUPPY DO?!"
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Dear hoodies & sweat pants, thank you for being there for me.
Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it.
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Dad: "LIKE A CHEESE STICK"
Me: "Dad, its G6..."
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Dear tampon commercial,
When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or do a backflip.
Sincerely, Real Women.
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My homework brings all the Asians to the yard,
And they're like "It wasn't that hard"."
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I hate it when strangers say "I don't bite"
Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is
"OMG! This bit*h is gonna bite me!"
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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie,
then BOOM!
The human giraffe sits in front of you. -___-
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SHORTEST GAME OF SIMON SAYS:
"Simon says jump! Simon didn't say land, you're all out."
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If women ruled the world, there would be no wars. . .
Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other."
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If you watch Mean Girls backwards,
it's about a girl who gets so unpopular that she has to move to Africa.
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Dear high school movies,
Please start hiring actors who are ACTUALLY high school age.
Sincerely, you're not fooling anyone
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Eenie meenie miney moe, you are nothing but a hoe.
You think you're cute, you think you're classy.
Reality check: you're really trashy(:
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In scary movies, the person yells out,
"Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like,
"Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"
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Whoever ''Shawty'' is, she apparently has a lot of rapper boyfriends."
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